The eyes have it

23 Sep

Fortunately, I committed to restricting my search for donor sperm to four sperm bank websites only. The idea was to tackle one website at a time, choose two donors from each website and work down from there. By the time I got through the second website my short list was looking more like the great wall on China.

ARGH!! Help! Time to phone a friend. I just couldn’t do it alone – I was being hopelessly indecisive. My lovely friend came over last night for pizza and we knuckled down to get to a real short list before the night was out. 

The time had also come to move beyond the personality profiles. Too many donors sounded way too nice and how do you choose one nice personality over another? In the real world, the chemistry usually sorts it all out. But sperm banks don’t provide the option to purchase a squirt of sex pheromones to evaluate primal attraction. That’s a terrific idea though!

One website provided a short donor audio interview. Okay, so this would help for sure – adding another human element to the donor. Of course they all sounded brilliant. Great, that wasn’t helpful at all.

The only way through this was to look at the baby photos. In fact, after talking it out we decided that this served as a brilliant way of culling. We would only consider those donors who were wiling to supply a baby photo.

We figured it also says something about someone who is willing to supply a baby photo along with their sperm. I mean, if you are donating your sperm for altruistic reasons then wouldn’t you want to give the parents a glimpse at what the biological father of their child was like. 

My initial idea was to focus on the donor and choose someone I would ordinarily find attractive and naturally copulate with. I know I said that it is personality that I am usually attracted to in a person – but we are not dealing with a person here – we are dealing with a series of answers to questions and it is just so damn impersonal. I was wrong. In the absence of a real person, energy and chemistry, I really have no choice but to peek at the physical.

I hate the idea of putting an expectation on what my baby may look like – but in all honesty my baby may be the splitting image of me or a throw back to either side of the genetic pool. It’s the sperm donor I am trying to get a glimpse of here not my future child.

So, photo’s being purchased – the anticipation in opening the files was surprising. It was helpful in a couple of cases but really it was still too hard.

And then it came to me – I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before. The eyes have it! I am very short sighted. Miss Myopic. I am the only person in my family who has this defect and I hate it. So why wouldn’t I try to give my child the best chance of not inheriting this? I also then realised that I have only ever had one boyfriend in my whole life who wore corrective glasses.

And then there was three. I found it difficult to part with two of these, so they have been parked. Today I sent an email to the sperm banks asking them to confirm whether the sperm from these donors is definitely available, just to be sure.

Two more websites to go. We have traction!

Thank you lovely darling friend – I couldn’t have done it without you.

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One Response to “The eyes have it”

  1. Deborah September 23, 2010 at 11:39 pm #

    It’s a pleasure lovely one…..You didn’t mention the ears..oh the ears! : -)) x x x

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