It’s all about me

19 Feb

I realise now that this past week I have been working pretty damn hard for the happiness and prosperity of others. My mother is staying with me for a while so I need to make sure she is okay. I met someone I was interested in so I wanted to make sure that I reciprocated communication there. And I have been up at the crack of dawn to get through all the work needed to be done at my place of employment. This is fine and I don’t mind doing this BUT this is all whilst I am doing IVF!

What I have missed in all of this is: Who is looking after me? This is NOT a loaded statement. I don’t expect anyone to look after me because I am fully aware that this is my job and my job alone. I just haven’t been doing it very well.

All of this stress and separateness from myself manifested in a breaking point. I had worked myself up so much that when I was giving myself my second injection – I fainted. Yes, that’s right, I fainted “while” I was giving myself the injection. Fortunately, I managed to finish the job but only just. When I passed out I slid off the chair banging and grazing my shoulder. And I have no-one else to blame but myself here.

Many people think about their lives as something that just happens to them instead of something that they can create for themselves. I believe it is important to take responsibility for what we are attracting into our lives and how we react to it. It would have been very reasonable if I made the decision last week to nurture myself  and well, just put myself first. It’s not everyday one does IVF after all.

It’s a fairly common belief that a person can make another person feel bad or create an undesirable outcome for them. “She made me angry”, “My boss works me so hard and therefore I am exhausted when I get home”, “He is so demanding that I have no time for myself”. I don’t buy it. I am responsible for what I allow to happen to me. I can remove myself from a stressful situation. I can create time to nurture and replenish. I can set boundaries with my boss.

Of course most people understand this idea, at least intellectually or as it applies to other people. It’s applying the same principle to our own lives that causes the problems because it is hard and it takes work. Continuous work. As demonstrated last week – I have slipped up. BUT I have recognised it and now I can get back on track.

I am once again claiming my feelings and actions as my own. I take back the reins of ownership, responsibility and the consequential control that comes from that. Phew! This week I am going to be really good to myself. Actually, this week, I am going to give myself more attention than anyone else on this planet. Starting right now 🙂

Something for me to contemplate every day of the week:

1. Believe in myself

2. Find time to eat healthy and exercise

3. Practice silence

4. Express myself

5. Forgive myself

6. Stop comparing myself to others

7. Love myself


3 Responses to “It’s all about me”

  1. Sarah February 20, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    You really have so much persaonl insight honey, you are very inspiratoinal. Thanks for sharing xx

  2. Deborah February 20, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

    Love it, love it, LOVE it! I love you too…think you are amazing! x x

  3. nursemyra February 27, 2011 at 11:35 am #

    Maybe your mother could chip in and help you look after yourself too?

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