The age game

11 Aug

My sport of late is peering into the faces of women pushing strollers down the street without looking totally psychotic. Well they don’t have to be pushing a stroller actually, they just have to have a young child, or baby, or both.

I’m searching for lines, any signs of aging really.

The conversation in my head goes a little like this “She must be in her early forties I reckon and the baby is under one so that means she would have fallen pregnant around my age.” Bingo! I seem to feel a lot better knowing this. If she can do it, I can do it – right?

Perhaps she is the child’s nanny or grandmother but who cares. It’s my game and therefore my rules. And unlike most other sports, no one gets hurt or bored.

I don’t linger long on the young ones. I simply acknowledge my envy as my mind flicks to a vision of them looking terrifically young at their child’s 18th birthday party. But then again I bet these young looking mothers of said teenagers didn’t travel the world running amuck in their late twenties and early thirties. That’s how I make it okay for myself. Like I said – my game, my rules.

I also play this game whenever I hear of someone falling pregnant or having a baby. My first question “So how old is whatshername?” I just love hearing about women in their forties falling pregnant.

The game’s objective is clearly to justify and give hope to falling pregnant with 42 year old ovaries.

I can’t pin point when this obsession started. I wasn’t always so focused on age. Don’t get me wrong, I have been very conscious that as each year passed it was going to impact on my fertility. But I think because I knew I had fertility problems anyway, that in itself was the main focus.

I have a low ovarian reserve. I am 39 but my ovaries have apparently time traveled and got stuck a few years ahead of me.

We have all read that fertility starts to decline for women from about the age of 30, dropping down more steeply from the age of 35 blah blah blah.

Celebrated author and medical professional Christiane Northrup believes that whether or not a woman in her thirties is more at risk of fertility problems or a difficult pregnancy must be completely individualised. A certified obstetrician and gynaecologist with vast experience in women’s health, Northrup writes in her book Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom:
“I’d much rather take care of a 40-year-old in excellent health who had planned her pregnancy than a 25 year old who smokes two packs and quaffs a gallon of diet coke per day. Too often the medical profession “hexes” women who become pregnant in their 30s and 40s by lumping them into a statistically high-risk categories that are not necessarily applicable.”

Hear hear! I’m not just trying to justify my own cause, this time. I truly believe this is true.

I may need a little help to fall pregnant but I am a nearly 40 year old in excellent health and I will be pregnant very soon 🙂

If you are woman in your late thirties/early forties and have a young child, you may wonder why some crazy woman stares at you in the cafe and walking down the street. That’s me. Sorry. I’ve now made a pact with myself to give the game away. You are now safe to go about your business in peace.


One Response to “The age game”

  1. Chantelle August 11, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

    Dont worry love, I did the same thing when I was thinking about falling pregnant with my girl. I remember wondering if my obstetrician would shun me because I was in my mid thirties, but the prefessionals are just that. I mean you do get put through the ringer a bit with scans and them worrying you that because your not 18 years old and a size 6, that there will be something horribly wrong.
    Then there’s Mothers Group, something I said I would never go to, but went anyway and fell in love with the women there. We are mostly older Mum’s and several have had to go through IVF. I found it a great comfort to spend time with other Mum’s my age and older, who had experienced life before babies. You have all this to look forward to, I just know it! Keep up the blog, cant wait to hear when your pregnant…. x

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