Archive | June, 2012

So Sad Synarel

24 Jun

I am on day 10 of Synarel. The last two cycles I breezed through the Synarel taking but not this time. Every cycle really does have the potential to be different.

Yesterday I cried so much that my face was raw from the continuous stream of tears which poured out of my eyes. Today is a little better, though that wouldn’t be hard as I don’t think it is possible to cry any more. It doesn’t take much for me to start welling up though.

To maintain a youthful complexion and save thy skin when bawling!

It is really difficult to stay focused on why I am going through all of this. I find that I easily get caught up in feeling sad which turns to my attention to all the stuff that is wrong rather than all the stuff that is right – and there is loads of stuff that is right.

Distraction is my best friend for now. So it’s books and box sets…

Blood test tomorrow which hopefully will indicate that it’s time to start the Puregon. Getting some hormones into me will be a huge relief. Bring on the injections. May they dry my eyes and produce lots of eggs.

Oh and my breasts are incredibly sore this time during the Synarel. I didn’t experience this before either. I suppose it’s just the universe keeping me on my toes. Message to universe: I live in a constant state of action and response, so ease up 😉

The Countdown

11 Jun

Ovarian tonic. Check.

Raspberry leaves with withania tonic. Check.

Breathing specialist consulted. Check.

First blood test booked. Check.

My first blood test to see whether I have ovulated is tomorrow. It is then that I will know when to start taking the drugs.

In preparation for this cycle I have sought the expertise of two very clever ladies.

My very knowledgeable naturopath has me taking some really disgusting tasting tonics to prepare my body for this IVF cycle. But like many things that are good for you, it tastes like feet (not that I have tasted feet). So it’s feet for me morning and night!

I also had a consultation with a yoga instructor who specialises in breathing techniques. I found this so beneficial and interesting. You hear so many stories about people who have been trying to fall pregnant for years and when they stop trying – BAM – it happens.

Perhaps all the stress and tension involved in IVF treatment triggers the body in to flight and fight mode – not entirely conducive to the softness needed for pregnancy. So I am hoping that getting into a routine of practicing certain breathing techniques will assist me in remaining relaxed and open throughout this cycle.

I am told that the exhale is more important than the inhale in assisting relaxation – but more about this later.

Inhale – 1, 2, 3, 4

Exhale – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Focus

3 Jun

It’s now or bloody never! I have already paid for my medication , donor sperm and part of the cycle. So what’s been holding me back? Well, its complicated.

Realising that some of my medication is going to expire this month made me take a really hard look at what I was doing. Or more to the point, what I was not doing. My head has been all over the place – work, rocky relationship, family dramas. I have been scattered and took my eye off the prize. So I had to face the all important question once again “what do I really want?”

The answer – a family.

After my second cycle I met someone who had children of his own. I was open to that. Happy about it even. But the road got very bumpy and the family feeling never really developed (another very long story).

So I must focus on what I truly want and move toward that realisation.

Here we go gain 🙂 WooHoo! I am anticipating this blog will help keep me focused and therefore you will be seeing a lot more from me now.

“Focus Grasshopper, focus”, Master Po to Caine in Kung Fu

Master Po: Close your eyes. What do you hear?
Young Caine: I hear the water, I hear the birds.
Po: Do you hear your own heartbeat?
Caine: No.
Po: Do you hear the grasshopper which is at your feet?
Caine: Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?