Archive | December, 2015

It Only Takes One

29 Dec

I had my first scan yesterday to see how my cycle was tracking. I have one follicle.

At first I was disappointed. Of course I wanted there to be many follicles. I’m taking bucket loads of drugs so surely the pay off would be more than one measly follicle, right?

Then I realised I was choosing to feel bad about a really positive situation. I have one follicle! And that’s great! It only takes one egg to make a baby. So instead of focusing on what I don’t have, I choose to appreciate the follicle that is. Actually, I choose to love that follicle with all my heart.



Festive Season Survival

25 Dec

Christmas is tough for people experiencing fertility challenges. It’s all about the kids, right! Everywhere you look there are families enjoying the glorious wonders of Christmas. A harsh reminder that this is something you don’t have.

Even the lead up is a torturous time; you can’t turn the television on without being bombarded with adverts involving gorgeous children with their equally gorgeous mothers having the time of their lives!

In fact, these messages happen all throughout the year but it just seems more poignant at this time of the year. Why? Because this time of the year is all about family and any woman who desires a family has fantasized about this festive season with a child.

I find myself daydreaming about the bigger, more elaborate Christmas tree I would have. Oh and the presents I would buy and the food I would make and the smiles we would share. What fun we would have!

When the daydream stops and reality sets in, so does the absence of the child you so desperately want.

This is a call out to all women struggling over this time: Please know that it is okay to experience these emotions. Acknowledge them, feel them and move on so you can creatively visualise the family yet to come. Getting stuck on focusing on the absence will not help you create.

What helps me to not get stuck in focusing on the absence is:

  1. Practicing mindfulness. It’s difficult to remain in a negative thought pattern when practicing to be present in the moment. I use a great app called Headspace which has emergency guided meditations when the mind is really in a spin.
  2. Spend time alone in nature. This is very important for women as we are very intuitive and nature helps us connect with our inner knowledge.
  3. Don’t feel obliged to attend all festive events. If it’s getting too much for you, say no. Your emotional well being is more important than pleasing others.
  4. Try to stay away from social media during this time. No explanation required.
  5. Focus on what’s good in your life. I keep a vision board which I use to focus on what is good right now, as well as what I want in the future. Some people keep a gratitude journal.

For those of us actually undergoing fertility treatment over this period – it is so important to remain as positive as possible. Put yourself first and let your emotions guide you in how you should spend your time. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it!


Sending you much love and positivity over this time. May the new year bring you everything you desire.

All I want for Christmas…

10 Dec

So begins another IVF cycle.

All I want for Christmas is obviously a successful IVF cycle. However, in taking one day at time what I would also really like is to not offend or kill anyone.

This time I have decided to start the cycle with Synarel (Syna-hell) which I took in the first two cycles I did. I then swapped to Lucrin in the other cycles. Now I remember why.

Lucrin and Synarel are both GnRH agonists which act on the pituitary gland to stop ovulation occurring before the egg retrieval in an IVF cycle.

Synarel is a nasal spray and Lucrin an injection. My decision to try the Synarel again was based on the fact that I tend to have long cycles and get really sick of all the injections toward the end. I have also been getting a lot of bruising from injections.

I am now regretting this decision. A week in and I am getting headaches, hot flashes and  mood swings. I am worried about whether the mood swings will get worse and therefore I will no longer be fit for public life. I’m not the most patient person at the best of times so I could get myself into some serious trouble here.

I realised it was all turning to shit when I started to sob at a Current Affair advert. Uh Oh! And then my husband informed me that I was being quite snappy. Double Uh Oh!!!!

Hold on tight family and friends! This is going to be an interesting Christmas.

Common side effects:

Nasal irritation, headaches, hot flashes, mood swings, decreased sexual interest, muscle pain, acne, vaginal dryness, or decrease in breast size may occur in women.

Not everyone gets these side effects and for those who do, the severity seems to vary greatly.