Archive | February, 2016

31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 15 (An Average Day)

9 Feb

31 Day Blog Challenge

An Average Day

There is no average day for me. My week always has a mix of working from different offices or remotely so I don’t have a standard commute.

I also don’t have a routine in the morning, though I think I need one. Generally I wake up and walk downs stairs where I am greeted by a very excited chocolate labrador. I open the front door and tell him to go to the toilet. I usually have to stand on the front verandah while this happens otherwise, he stops mid-stream to race inside for his breakfast. I feed the excitable beast and that’s where the routine ends.


One very happy dog

I may spend a day in back-to-back meetings, writing reports, locked into my laptop editing a film, or multitasking housework whilst talking on the phone to staff.

The furry and feathered children always get fed and the dog gets a walk (location changes pretty everyday) or at the very least a big play session.

It seems that lately I always end the day with the television on. I would like to change this. And I tidy the kitchen. I love waking in the morning to a clean and tidy kitchen – perhaps this is my way of ensuring that I start the day anew.

It’s funny, I thought I was more habitual than I am. Interesting.


31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 14 (Winning the Lottery)

3 Feb

31 Day Blog Challenge

If I Won The Lottery

I would use the money to overcome the tough and ridiculous Australian adoption laws. I would move to a country where there are children who need a caring family and live there with the child/ren until I was able to bring them back to Australia. This is a legal loop hole – If you live with a child you have adopted, in their country, for over 12 months after the adoption takes place then you can apply for a visa for that child to enter Australia.

Yep, that’s what I’d do.

How to Get Up Again

3 Feb


I’ve been contemplating resilience.


A word often used to describe me. As if this is a special personality trait that I have which is admired by others. I’ve heard this word a lot over the past few days.

The truth is: that whilst I rise rather quickly from a fall, it is actually the shell of me going about business while my soul is slowly putting the pieces together. Does this make me a damn good actor or does the body have to get up before the heart and soul is ready to repair and come to the party? Well whatever the answer, it works for me. I don’t know if it is resilience or actually just survival though.

This is what I do to get back up again and prepare for the challenge in front of me:

1. Clean up. I feel more motivated and worthy in a clean space. I find if I let my house turn to shit, it creates an inner dialogue of how crap I am and how crap the situation is. Crap creates crap, if you know what I mean. When I get rid of the external crap I find it easier to control the inner crap.

2. Write a list. It’s comforting for me to have things to do. Mapping it out gives me purpose to get up. And crossing things off the list creates a sense of achievement. Positive!

3. Make an effort with my appearance. I can be a total feral at times and not brush my hair for days and wear my pajamas like a uniform. This is a favourite past time of mine however, when feeling low this past time turns from free spirit to down and out. When times are tough, if I can look in the mirror and not cringe, that’s a very good thing. I actually got four cold sores on my forehead, so you can imagine how beautiful my hair was to counteract this hideousness!

4. Walk. Walking is a great way to practice mindfulness when meditation seems to hard. I’m lucky that I live in an area with lots of bush walks but any walk is good for the soul.

5. Eat some healthy food. Once I’ve inhaled the toxic Doritos, ice cream and toasted cheese mountains – Forcing myself to make something healthy sends a message to myself that I am worth the effort and that my body deserves better.

6. Accept invitations (conditional). I would prefer to talk to no-one when I have taken a fall but after a few days it is important to get back to friends, even when I dont feel like it. Willingly creating isolation is a fast track from bad to worse. This is however conditional in the early stages. I hate pep talks, especially from friends/family who have children and think they understand what I’m going through. If you have children then you do not understand. Sorry, that may seem harsh but the real pain for me is the prospect of not having a child. I dont begruge my beautiful friends/family who have children, they just can’t possibly understand how I feel, that’s all. Friends mean well but I’m in survival mode at the moment and can’t deal with the pep talk. Just send me your love and if I want your advice, I will ask you.